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Dear Chapz,

You have indeed covered most of your bases. Like most soothsayers and con-artists, I will choose to conveniently ignore some questions that might threaten to expose me for what I really am.

However, regarding the health bubbles, I suggest you place them in your washing machine where, like those "zuk-zuk" cleaning balls, they can facilitate a more thorough cleaning of your soiled clothes by simulating a scrubbing, hand-washing action. This means you get to save on extra detergent, and oh, Dynamo doesn't work as how they claim it to, in the ads. Trust me.

Regarding your mirrors, I advice you to get rid of them. Mirrors without funky Chinese runes and engravings are essentially a big attraction for Negative Energy, they sap the light out of your room (and life) and reflect only a darker, distorted, and reversed image - therefore reversing the effects of the Perimeter of Positive Chi you have so painstakingly set up. Do not dispose of them carelessly, they sound like some big plates of glass - 7 years exponentiated by the number of fragments is the duration of a bad spell that will follow fragmentation. Donate it instead as a gift of goodwill to your unfortunate neighbour, he will thank you profusely and show his gratitude by doing you small favours (like stop complaining about the durians that keep falling on his four year old's head or that new Alfa, your dog pooping on his lawn) while wondering why he's getting retrenched and his teenage son has gone delinquent. It's a great gift to yourself too, when you are boning his wife, you will seem to be doing it from ALL ANGLES AT ONCE.

It's cool to have a Global Operations Scrying glass, but personally I'd rather have a 50-inch HDTV set piping in CNN. At least I also get Channel V, Disney, and with the aid of a DVD player, multi-angled, zoomable and very wholesome modern pr0n videos.

Good luck with the strafe jumping, don't break anything. It hurt a lot for me when I once fell and toppled over that antique Ming vase of Wealth Keeping.

In prying we trust,

Nael Seafoo